I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize