watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
