wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
