Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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