There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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