she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
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