I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
