She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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