I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
