at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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