how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
