so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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