he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I looked at my own cervix.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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