I need help removing her.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
