Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
