my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
