I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
