Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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