but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
