He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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