I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
