She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
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