Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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