Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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