i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
