Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize