dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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