Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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