I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize