her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
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