he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
