There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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