I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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