I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
