Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
