Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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