Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
i think my cat just said my name.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
