also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize