im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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