Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize