Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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