i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
