You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize