Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize