It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
