Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
