The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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