i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
