my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I enjoy the company of your penis
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
