Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Randomize
