What a fucking waste of an outfit
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
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