If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
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