I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize