i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
