I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
