Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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