I think my fart just growled at me.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
