I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
