dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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